Raven (A Very British Witch Book 4) Read online

  Contents

  Legal

  Dedication

  Glossary of British Terms

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  A Mewsage from Raven the Cat

  Author Notes - Izzie

  Author Notes - Ellie

  Social Links

  Series List

  A Very British Witch (this series of books) is a work of fiction.

  All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Sometimes both.

  This book Copyright © 2019 Isobella Crowley, Ell Leigh Clarke

  Cover Design by Jeff Brown

  Cover copyright © ProsperityQM LLC

  ProsperityQM LLC supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.

  The distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  ProsperityQM LLC

  1500 South Lamar Blvd, 1050

  Austin, TX 78704

  First US edition, 2019

  Version 1.01.01

  A Very British Witch (and what happens within / characters / situations / worlds) are copyright © 2018-2019 by Isobella Crowley, Ell Leigh Clarke

  DEDICATION

  For the souls who dream of making the world more magical.

  — Izzie

  To everyone who ever dreamed of making a dent in the universe.

  — Ellie

  SCARLETT

  A Very British Witch 01

  JIT Beta Readers

  Brian Roberts

  Jackey Hankard-Brodie

  Robert Gould

  Robert Brooks

  Chelsea Wright

  Diane L Smith

  Mary Morris

  Kris Prendergast

  Kimberley Beaulieu

  If I missed anyone, please let me know!

  Editor

  Mary Morris

  Glossary of British Terms

  Most folks who come to this book are going to be from outside the UK, and probably predominantly from the US.

  As such it seems prudent to explain certain things to smooth your entrance into what is effectively a foreign world.

  The reasons for this are twofold:

  so you can get lost in the story, and

  so you can appreciate the intricacies of the world, as if it were another universe on the other side of a portal.

  First off, some pronunciation, because we all hate it when we have no idea how to say things in our heads!

  The first word is Bicester

  This is the village I lived in, and the one where our story takes place. It’s pronounced “Biss-ter”.

  The origin of it is quite interesting actually. When the UK was invaded by the Romans, a lot of our places were named using Latin and kinda stuck. Chester means camp. As in a military camp.

  Bi, means two. (As in Bisexual, wink wink)

  Bicester is therefore the place of two military encampments – which is also true to this day, because it has an air force base and an army base.

  Ok, next word: ma'am.

  In England this is pronounced “Marm”.

  Not “maaaaaaam”, as it is in America. If you read it with an English accent in your head, it might help you get a feel for things.

  Ok, here’s another one our US service people are going to cringe at.

  It’s been a point of contention since the war when we teamed up.

  It’s the title: Flight Lieutenant

  In the US, y’all pronounce it Flight Lew-ten-ant.

  In the UK it’s Flight Left-ten-ant.

  Yeah. I know. Looks nothing like how it’s spelled. But I didn’t decide the rank. And it confused the f*** out of me when I was in cadets at school. Anyhooo, that’s how it’s said, if you want to pronounce it the British way in your head as you read.

  Something else that may be confusing is that ground floor is not the first floor. In a lot of UK buildings, the ground floor is at street level, and the numbered floors start after that, so the floor one above street level is referred to as the first floor.

  Ok, here are some words that just need a bit of explanation. You may know some of them already.

  PG Tips – a particularly good brand of tea. If it's not PG it's probably not worth drinking. Thank goodness I can find it here in Texas.

  Allotment – a plot of land rented by an individual for growing vegetables or flowers. These are basically partitioned off gardens in one area, where each person has a little shed at the end where they keep their gardening tools and fertilizers. It's not uncommon for older village folk to have this place where they potter, giving them something to do out of the house.

  Potter – in English 2.0 this is putter. To occupy oneself in a desultory but pleasant manner, doing a number of small tasks or not concentrating on anything particular.

  Uncrossed himself – he uncrossed his legs, (and sometimes maybe arms as well).

  Plonk – cheap wine, similar in quality to the 1 gallon jugs I’ve seen in the US that sell for less than $10.

  High street – akin to a US Main Street.

  Biscuit – cookie.

  Jammie Dodgers – are a popular British biscuit, made from shortbread with a raspberry or strawberry flavored jam filling. (Ellie edit: as seen on Doctor Who, in conjunction with him telling the Daleks it was a bomb control device in a bluff to save the world from them!)

  Bobby – English slang for policeman.

  Oxford Don – a university teacher, especially a senior member of a college at Oxford or Cambridge.

  Pavement – sidewalk.

  Gadfly – an annoying person, especially one who provokes others into action by criticism.

  Jumper – sweater.

  Trainers – sneakers/tennis shoes.

  Torch – Flashlight.

  Deep conditioning hair mask – this is basically goop that you put on your hair to make it thick and well-conditioned. You normally apply it to damp hair, leave it for 30 minutes and then rinse it out. This seemed worth explaining since a number of gentlemen in the JIT (Just In Time) team quizzed it, and the non-English females, including my trusty (Canadian!) helper, couldn’t explain it either. It must be an English thing.

  Row – a noisy scuffle or disagreement (pronounced like how, not owe).

  Flat – apartment.

  Flatmate – roommate.

  Grilled – when we cook something under a grill (or the oven without the convection heat on) it’s called grilled. Sometimes this can also be a flame from above. It seems that when you use this word over here in the US it’s assumed to mean that you barbequed it, outside, which isn’t what is intended here. In the US you would say that you broiled it under your broiler.

  Taking the piss out of someone – y’all call this giving someone
shit, although I feel like the US expression is a little more aggressive. When we take the piss, it’s more like teasing. More friendly, I think, though I’m still understanding the nuances over here.

  Boot of a car – the trunk. (Yeah, I know this from years not understanding the Black Eyed Peas lyrics and then deducing it from context!)

  Estate agents – this is the UK word for a real estate agents’ office, place of business.

  An estate agent is a real estate agent.

  End-of-terrace – the house at the end of a terrace, which is a row of small houses, normally with two upstairs rooms, two downstairs, and sharing common walls between them.

  Ayurveda – the traditional Hindu system of medicine, which is based on the idea of balance in bodily systems, and uses diet, herbal treatment, and yogic breathing.

  Biro – a type of ballpoint pen from Bic used in the UK. Akin to saying Kleenex instead of facial tissue.

  Chips – french fries.

  Verge – a grassy strip of land at the edge of a road.

  Crufts winner – crufts is a posh dog shop for people who breed and show them.

  Lorry – truck

  A few home truths – a Brit phrase meaning someone is going to share a few truths that are going to break the illusion the person is under. Probably comes from how families would hide stuff from each other and the kids which would change their perceptions of each other if they came to light - hence the word home in there.

  Casualty – an ER.

  Pram – a stroller or baby carriage.

  Indicator – turn signal.

  Yobs – uncouth youths, normally misbehaving.

  Lay-by – a place where you can pull in off the road.

  Roundabout – carousel.

  Windscreen – windshield.

  Car park – parking lot.

  Going spare – going crazy with worry.

  Imagining all sorts – imagining all kinds of things that might be going wrong.

  Shouting the odds – shouting and raving.

  Stock take – inventory, or taking inventory.

  Dial 999 – in the UK, our emergency number is 999 instead of 911.

  Guy Fawkes – On 5th November, 1605, Guy Fawkes was caught red-handed in the cellar of the House of Lords guarding barrels of gunpowder, exposing a plot to blow up the British Parliament and kill King James I. Today he is a national icon, appearing every 5th Nov on the top of bonfires up and down the country, fashioned out of straw and second hand clothes.

  Swanning – according to Google’s dictionary it means to “move about or go somewhere in a casual, relaxed way, typically perceived as irresponsible or ostentatious by others.” I guess it might come from the manner in which swans move.

  Nip back – like pop back.

  To see this in context, do check out this clip from the King’s Speech. (I always think of this scene any time anyone mentions popping somewhere!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l65KNW2ZGV8

  Gaffer – boss. No idea where this comes from, but tends to be something middle aged men in trade jobs and the police seem to use to describe the person in charge.

  Skirting board – the base molding or wood that runs around the wall where it meets the floor.

  Similarly, if you notice any other words that make you wonder, feel free to hit me up on my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/isobellacrowley, and I’ll add it to the list!

  Izzie <3

  P.S. Ellie is the Ell Leigh Clarke person you might have seen on the Amazon page… my collaborator on this. More from both of us in the author notes… ;)

  CHAPTER ONE

  Thursday Morning

  Bicester Vintners, Bicester, UK

  Scarlett glanced past the shelves packed full of wine bottles, to the clock on the storeroom wall and felt a buzz of excitement. It was finally 11:45 am, meaning she was just about within her rights to request an early lunch.

  “Karl, is it okay if I take my break now?”

  Karl looked up at her from where he was sitting behind the counter, frowning at a clipboard. “Err, yes, OK then, why not? But I need you back by a quarter to one. I want a clear run at the stock take, this afternoon.”

  “Okay.”

  Closing the door behind her she let the air wash over her face. She took a moment to enjoy it before proceeding to go for her lunchtime wander through the streets of Bicester. It quickly lead her to Malaprop’s, the bookstore owned by her friend Tarquin. She decided to pop in to say hi, and found him standing by the cash register, finishing up a conversation with a delivery man.

  “Hi Tarquin!” she said with a smile.

  “Oh, hello Scarlett.” With a nod goodbye to the delivery man, he bent down to lift a box and hefted it into his arms. Then he jerked his head, beckoning her to follow him into the stockroom.

  Tarquin set the box down on a counter and took a minute to get his breath back before cutting it open. He paused over the open box, enjoying the scent of fresh print, before commencing with the cataloging.

  Scarlett came around to the other side of the table and bent over to take a look at the books. “I love the smell of new books too, Tarquin. It’s part of the attraction for me.”

  “Mmm. I know exactly what you mean.”

  “I’d almost forgotten what they smelled like.”

  “Why’s that?” He gave her a joking scowl. “You been reading them eBooks? Trying to put me out of business?”

  Scarlett grinned. “Oh, perish the thought! No, I’ve had my nose in lots of dusty old books recently. They have an entirely different smell.”

  Tarquin held a scanner to one of the books until it beeped. “Entirely different. What have you been reading that’s so old?”

  “Oh, you know,” she said. “This and that. Plus my aunt’s grimoires.”

  Tarquin glanced up at Scarlett, face suddenly bright with interest. “Your aunt’s grimoires? They’re not dusty old books.” He chuckled. “How’s that going? Have you managed to pick up a thing or two?”

  “Yes, I’d like to think so.” She smiled, casting her eyes to the floor.

  Tarquin lifted another book from the box and ran the scanner over its spine. “Such as?”

  “Oh, just a few small things, you know. The basics. But I’m improving all the time.”

  Tarquin stood up straight and looked at her for a long moment. He seemed to be deciding something. Then he said, “I have some more books through here that might be of interest to you. This way.”

  He placed the scanner beside the box and led her to a nondescript door that Scarlett had automatically assumed was a closet. However, when Tarquin pushed the door open and flipped the light switch, she realized it was another, smaller storeroom. Lining the wall was a large, wooden bookcase, packed full of books in a multitude of sizes and colors.

  “This is my, err, private collection.”

  Scarlett was astonished. “Your private collection? I had absolutely no idea.”

  “Well, it’s not something I choose to go around broadcasting. Come here, take a look.”

  As Scarlett watched, Tarquin ran his finger across several of the spines, absently pulling out what appeared to be the thickest book of all. He opened it to the middle and began flicking through the pages.

  “I was just, err—I thought there might be something you’d find useful. Something to help you better understand your aunt’s grimoires.” He continued to skim through the book all the way to the back cover, before closing it and returning it to the shelf.

  “Listen, I have to get back to my cataloging. Have a look through these why don’t you? See if there’s anything you might want to borrow to help with your studies.”

  Scarlett moved closed to the bookcase, then glanced back at Tarquin, uncertain. “Really? You don’t mind?”

  “No, not at all. I’ll just be—” he nodded his head toward the larger storeroom they’d just come from—“through there if you need anything.”

  “Okay.” Scarlett looked over her shoulder, waiting for him t
o sink his head back into the box of books, before turning back to run her eye over the bookcase.

  For what felt like two minutes, but was actually twenty, Scarlett scanned the books for anything that might help her in her studies. Starting with a big red book at the top left of the case, she worked her way along the shelf before moving down and back across.

  Every book she leafed through contained useful information that she eagerly read with bright, wide eyes. The biggest task she faced was limiting herself to borrowing only a few books. Eventually, she’d worked her way to the end of the third shelf. Her arm was starting to ache under the weight of three thick volumes when Tarquin crept up on her.

  “How’s it going?”

  Scarlett jumped. The books she was holding lurched forward, causing her arm to shoot out involuntarily to prevent her from falling to the floor. She held her breath, only exhaling once the books were pressed safely into her chest.

  She gave Tarquin a sheepish grin. “There’s so much of it. It’s hard to know where to begin.”

  He inspected the three books she’d selected. “You’ve made some good choices. These should serve you very well.”

  Scarlett frowned. “You don’t think—well my aunt—you don’t think she’ll get offended, do you?”

  “Why, because you’ve sought additional help?”

  Scarlett nodded. “She might think that her grimoires aren’t helpful to me, or that they’re unclear or—”

  “No, not at all.” He gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “I’ve known Tabitha a long time and she’s definitely not like that.”

  “Well, I hope you’re right.”

  “I am right Scarlett, trust me. I know her very well. Maybe too well.” He lowered his eyes and quickly turned away as if trying to conceal the guilty expression that had flashed over his face from her.

  “Tarquin? What’s wrong?”